Loneliness is such an interesting concept. You can feel alone in a crowded room, and yet, you can also feel completely fulfilled in complete isolation. So what really defines this intense feeling?
My best definition is an absence of belonging.
We all need to feel like we belong to someone, whether that be a romantic partner, a community, a higher power, or something else.
The problem arrives when we don’t feel attached to anyone, when those moments come where you wonder what would happen if you just vanished. Who would know, and whose lives would be impacted? It comes in the moments when you discover that success isn’t enough, or even more when you need someone to pick you up, to hold you and to remind you that you don’t have to be whole.
When we are forced into isolation, these feelings of loneliness that we may have distracted ourselves from and pushed aside begin to bubble up. You may begin to realize there is something more that you are craving, and that there is a need to quench that thirst in your soul.
This is where your journey begins.
Discovering where you belong and who you belong to is one of the biggest life questions that you must answer. Otherwise, loneliness is only going to return, and you need to be ready to respond to it.
Seeking assistance in answering this question is not wrong, and quite honestly, it’s encouraged. Find your answers by conversing with loved ones, reading literature, or self-reflecting. I would argue therapy is a great place to go to explore this question and develop your cure to the loneliness you feel. Obviously I’m a little biased, but I promise you that if anything I have written has spoken to you on some level, then therapy will help.
At the end of the day, however, my hope for you is that you know, even when you feel lonely, you are not alone, you are wanted, you are loved, and you belong here.